Sometimes it's easier to just stop

I’m learning to stop, to decide that there are things that don’t need to get done. That putting in our time in to doing somethings deeply and calmly brings more to us.  So on Saturday after a playdate in the leaves we walked half of the way to a concert and realized that we didn’t want to go there. Instead we stopped at an odd little coffee shop that we go to rarely. We sat and talked about things, drank warm things, and then headed home. And I am becoming okay with this.

I am one of those people who would leave the house every day if I could. I find walking around the city or hiking more relaxing than staying home. Or maybe that’s more habit than truth. I first learned about slowing down from our first cat, Bancha. I was working afternoons and my normal routine was to get up and head out, maybe eat something first. That first apartment had a small kitchen and a little table that looked out over the alley. Bancha would sit and look out in the sun. Slowly I started making tea and sitting with the cat (it was a beautiful alley).

But it’s still my habit to go. By foot, by bike, by car. Alder isn’t the same, he wants home days, or day when we don’t go far from home. You know what I’m liking this new way of moving. I’m learning things about myself and my son, stuff things I never noticed when we were constantly on the go. There is more time for stories and games, for new projects and just enjoying the porch. I still get antsy, feel like I need to be walking or just being in a different neighborhood- different city. But we still get those days too, just not every day.

Sure I still love the rhythm of getting out and going, the way the two of of us of share sights and silences but I am learning new rhythms of our days at home or near by.

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