The blackest black
Something happened yesterday I had a wonderful shift inside of me. Ever since we realized that we were moving back to Colorado there had been part of me that I had just sort of turned off. My life was out of my control I was angry and tired and just sort of gave up on myself. Instead, I put a lot of my energy into Alder. At least that’s what I thought I was doing, but really I was just bidding my time until… Until something. Then yesterday I had most of the day to myself to get some work done and see Michael Chabon read from his new book.

I spent the day up in Denver writing and walking. It was the sort of insane walk that I used to take almost everyday in Denver when I lived there before. I call them spriting, it’s when you walk for so long that all the thoughts in you head have been completely played out and you are able think clearly. The funny thing about having the time to let your mind run it’s course you learn a lot about yourself and about all the “problems” you’ve been having. I’m not saying that they have disappeared but I have a clear idea of what I need to be doing now.

Being able to unpack my mind every once in a while is important. I have so many thoughts that come to me fully formed that it gets crowded and I have a hard time separating them out.  I feel like the yucca at the top of the post, here I am finally getting to all those seeds that have been inside of me since early spring. It is the sort of motivating feeling that brings out large pieces of paper and marker for doing some planning.

Of course, I haven’t taken a walk like that since we left Denver, which means that when I woke up this morning I was extremely sore and tired,  just another motivating factor for all my organized ideas and putting my plan into action.