Today we had a yes day. It’s sort of a reset button for me. The past few weeks tension between Alder and I has been growing, we are spending too much time together and neither of us has much of an outlet. I’ll admit it he handles it better than I do. That means that slowly as the day went on and we were stuck in the house more and more we were fighting more and more. It’s one of those Mama should know better scenarios.
So last night I decided today needed to be a yes day. that means unless Alder was going to damage anything or one I would say yes to his wants. It sounds indulgent but it isn’t I don’t tell Alder that I’m doing it I just make the effort to focus on him when he wants my attention. The amount of time that I spent focusing on him wasn’t any different just the focus was.
That meant that we started the morning with tea and brownies. Then it was down stairs for collages and block building. After that Alder requested a movie (Reading Rainbow Life on the Farm) and I took the time to put dishes away and start chili. After that I took a shower while he talked to me (I’m not dirty Mama).
Then I started cooking a lunch of Alder’s choice: Tofu, rice and broccoli. While I cooked we listened to my childhood record of Really Rosie, if you have children and like Maurice Sendak it is a must. I couldn’t help but smiling. Alder was lying on the floor singing along and zoning out. I have clear memories as a child doing the exact same thing. Those low lit days when nothing could be better than lying on the floor and exploring the microcosm at snails pace.
After lunch we headed downtown to the art store for some new pens for Mama and lots of daydreaming for both of us. The main reason for the trip downtown was to hang out at a new favorite coffee shop. We spent a few hours there having coffee and lemonade, drawing and just talking. Alder is such a great coffee shop partner, he can last an hour or two and occupies himself most of the time, it’s no different from going with a friend (well except the conversations are a little different).
Papa got home right after we did and we’ve had a mellow evening together (except for me to post this).
Yes days are something that I need get back into the habit of doing them everyday. It isn’t that Alder doesn’t need to hear no, it’s that he has to hear and see me fit his wants into our days along with my wants. To show him the respect that we are teaching him to show us and others so that he understands from the inside out why we listen and respond to what others say and ask for. How can a child, or anyone, give others respect if they themselves are not respected?